EXCERPT:
(Characters: Tiffany and Epiphany, two baby squirrels. Boo, a baby badger. Burt and Curt, two scheming forest wolves.)
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BOO: She is not the King! She doesn’t look anything like the king!
TIFFANY: (marching over to gift box) Well, that’s just because I haven’t put my crown on yet. (opening gift box)
BOO: What … what are you doing?
TIFFANY: Getting my crown!
BOO: Ohhhhh, Tiffany … we shouldn’t mess with that. That crown belongs to the King.
TIFFANY: I am the King!
BOO: You’re a little insignificant squirrel who’s going to get squashed by the King if she doesn’t behave!
EPIPHANY: Oh, stop worrying, Boo. Nobody’s around! We’re just going to take it out for a minute. Nobody will ever know.
TIFFANY: Come on, you guys, help me lift it out. This thing’s heavy.
EPIPHANY and BOO flank TIFFANY and lift the crown slowly out of the box.
TIFFANY: Hey … hey … I can see my reflection in this crown.
EPIPHANY: Hey … me, too.
TIFFANY: (preening) Yeah, but I look good … !
All three admire themselves and make faces in the reflection of the crown.
TIFFANY: All right, you guys, all right … help me put it on.
EPIPHANY and BOO, flanking TIFFANY, help her carefully place the crown on her head. TIFFANY grins. But as the other two let go, the weight of the crown overwhelms her. She clangs head-first to the floor, as though magnetized. EPIPHANY laughs at her.
TIFFANY: Ouuuuch!
EPIPHANY: (laughing) Ladies and gentlemen: the fall of the King!
TIFFANY: It’s a little heavy!
BOO: Are you crazy?! You’re going to dent it, letting it fall like that!
TIFFANY: I didn’t mean to!
TIFFANY, unable to pick the crown up, has re-inserted her head in it while it’s still on the ground. She’s trying to stand up with it, but she can’t get it – or her head – off of the floor. She is grunting and straining ridiculously.
EPIPHANY: Give it up, kid! You ain’t got what it takes to wear that crown!
TIFFANY: Oh, and I suppose you do?!
EPIPHANY: Of course I do! Give me that crown – I’ll show you!
BOO: You don’t have to show her! (to EPIPHANY) We believe you! Okay? Now let’s just put the crown back in the box, where it belongs, and deliver it to the real King safe and sound, before all of our heads end up on the ground!
EPIPHANY: Aw, c’mon! My turn, my turn, my turn! I want to wear the crown!
BOO: All right, all right, all right! You can wear it for 10 seconds … and then we put it back in the box and get going!
EPIPHANY: Cool!
TIFFANY and BOO help EPIPHANY pick up the crown. They go to fit it carefully on her head … but it immediately slips down over her eyes. It’s too big for her head.
EPIPHANY: Hey … what the … ?
TIFFANY: (laughing) It’s too big! It doesn’t fit!
EPIPHANY: It does too fit! (pulling crown down snug over her head; it covers part of her face) See?
TIFFANY: Oh, yeah. That really fits!
EPIPHANY: At least I can wear it without falling on my head! (strutting like KING) I am the King! I am strong … and I am wise … and I am –
Blinded by the crown, EPIPHANY bangs into a tree and knocks herself over backward.
TIFFANY: (laughing) And you are unconscious!
BOO: (running over to EPIPHANY) Careful! Would you be careful?! Here, give me that!
BOO grabs the crown, but it remains stuck on EPIPHANY’S head.
EPIPHANY: Hey!!
BOO pulls hard and finally frees the crown from EPIPHANY’s head. The three friends continue to battle for and argue over the crown as the NARRATOR speaks. BOO wants it back in the box; the others keep trying to wear it themselves.
NARRATOR: The crown was quite shiny
Now this much was true
It was awfully attractive
To Tiff, Piph and Boo
And the more that they tried
the King’s crown on their head
The more that they liked it
on themselves instead
So without even thinking
about wolves or big bears
They dawdled and played
with that crown that weren’t theirs
Little did they know
as they scampered all around
There were pirating varmints …
with an eye for the crown …
BURT and CURT poke their heads out, BURT with an eyepatch and both looking very sneaky. They sneak to a corner of the stage, unseen by the other three and watching the crown closely.
CURT: Aye, Burt … are ya seein’ what I’m seein’?
BURT: Aye, Curt… that I am, lad. That I am. The crown of the King!
CURT: Aye, Burt … I’ve got an eye for that crown, says I.
BURT: Aye, as do I, says I.
CURT: Aye. It’s hecka-big, it is!
BURT: Aye. And super shiny, says I, as well.
CURT: Aye. But are you sure, Burt, that it truly be the crown of the King?
Just then, TIFFANY tries the crown on again, and the weight again clunks her head to the floor.
BURT: Aye. Pretty sure. Pretty sure.
CURT: Well, what are them little squirrels and that badger doin’ with it, if you don’t mind tellin’ me? I say we go and take it from them!
CURT begins to march in like a bully, but BURT grabs him by the ear and pulls him back.
CURT: Ow. Ow. Ow.
BURT: Aye, Curt, you’re not a terribly bright wolf, are ya?
CURT: No. No. Not terribly bright. Sorry.
BURT: (letting go) Why should a couple of clever wolves like ourselves just go and take the King’s crown from them … causing a ruckus, messing up the jungle … when we can trick the little rodents right of it?
CURT: Trick them?
BURT: Aye, trick them, says I. Look at them little squirrels … sweet and innocent and suspectin’ nuthin ‘t all. Why, if we play our cards right, Curt, they’ll be handin’ that beautiful shiny crown right over to us, says I.
CURT: (smiling) They’re not terribly bright little squirrels, are they?
BURT: I’m thinkin’ not.
Capstone Drama 
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