EXCERPT

LEE: It’s like that spark ain’t there no more.   I mean, I admit it … she’s lookin’ a little older now, and that has an effect on a guy.   Sometimes … I mean, I’ll walk right by her and not even give her a second look.  I think it’s causing some resentment, to tell you the truth, Doc.   I don’t know. (sigh)  Maybe this is what I get for having a love affair with my car.

PORSCHE enters quickly and angrily.

PORSCHE: Oh, sure!   Blame it on that!   I know, I know … I’m just a machine!   I’m not sensitive to your needs … !

LEE:  You’re not sensitive to my needs, Porsche honey.   

PORSCHE: You say go, and I go!   You say stop, and I stop!   You point a direction, and I go there! What more do you want?

LEE: It’s not enough.

PORSCHE: Not enough?!   

LEE: I … I need someone who’s going to grow with me…

PORSCHE: I’m a Porsche, you dimwit!   I don’t grow!   You need to shrink!

LEE:  Porsche, honey … now don’t get overheated …

PORSCHE: Me overheated?   You’re the one who’s always getting up my grill, mister!    (as LEE reaches for her)  Don’t you touch me!   I’m not some easy pickup you meet down at the truck yard, you know!    My electronic locks are locked and my alarm is on, pal!

DOC: (OS) OK, let’s calm down, everyone.   Lee, let me ask you: what was it that made you first fall in love with Porsche?

LEE: (thinking a moment)  Maybe it was because … everybody else wanted her?

LIGHTS DOWN on Lee and Porsche.   LIGHTS UP SR on Kim , who similarly sits in a chair facing DS with an open chair near her.   She wears casual attire and looks forlorn.

KIM: Good times?   Yeah, we had a few.   When we first got together, it was like fireworks every day.    I was obsessed – I admit it.   Obsessed!    (giggle)    Like a little schoolgirl – it was ridiculous, really.  (smiling at the memory)   We were together days, evenings … sometimes even all night.

DOC: (OS)   And then?

KIM: Then … I guess it just became another job.   

JOB enters, weeping outrageously.

KIM: Oh … come on, now, sweetheart.

JOB: I was good to you!

KIM: No … you were.

JOB: I gave you prestige … money … your own parking space.    And the benefits …

KIM: I know … I know … it’s me, sweetheart.   (to DOC)  You know, I really thought I wanted to be married to my job …

DOC: (OS)  Uh-huh.

JOB: Right.   I bet you said that to your last job, too.   And the one before that.   You said I was different!  You said I was your dream job!   But now I see the truth!   I was just a stepping stone to some … some trashy uptown corporate gig!

KIM: No, no, sweetheart … it’s not like that. 

JOB: What, don’t I have enough perks for you now?

KIM: No, honey, you’re still perky …

JOB: You used to dress up and look nice for me … now look at you!

KIM: I’m sorry.

JOB: (wailing)  You never stay the night anymore!

KIM: I … I’m home sleeping.

JOB: You never used to sleep!   You used to work!    Work, work, work!   That’s why we made such a great team!  Now I’m supposed to believe that you actually go home and sleep?!   Well, I’m not that gullible, baby!  I know what’s going on!   You’re moonlighting!

KIM: What?

JOB: You heard me!   You’ve got another job on the side!

KIM: I don’t!   I’m sleeping!

JOB: Oh, you think I haven’t noticed the extra little pay stubs in your pocket?   That’s sure not my 401k on there, missy!   I know when I’ve been bumped down the resume!   I know when you’re off getting vested somewhere else!!

DOC: (OS) Um … excuse me.   Sorry.   Kim … what was it that made you fall in love with your job in the first place?

KIM: Well … I guess … it was always there for me?